You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Randomize
