How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
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