You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
