To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
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