summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
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