she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
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