HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize
