In the future we'll all be gay
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
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