wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
organizing the empties. That sober.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
