I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
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