That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
Randomize
