I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize