watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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