His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
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