so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Randomize
