Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
