I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
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