Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Randomize
