I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
Randomize
