where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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