I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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