I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
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