Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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