White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize