I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
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