she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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