babies were throwing up all over the place
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
being pregnant is like rehab
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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