I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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