Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
