Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
