Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
You're a waste of cheezeits
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
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