remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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