My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
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