been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize