You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
