3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Panties = found
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