Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize