it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Randomize
