After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
Why is your signature on my underwear?
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
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