Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
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