As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Randomize
