Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
