I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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