Farmville is her only friend.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Randomize
