That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
