She bit a glass in half.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize
