Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Please don't give away my fajitas
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