Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
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