nut hugger
I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
I need a hoe opinion
go on
It's not a walk of shame if you run
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