so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
