i jhust puked up my retainher.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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