Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
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