he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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