i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
if i died would you start the facebook group?
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
Boobs are out for the taking
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Randomize
