Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
This is my gift to your gina
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Randomize