apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
