he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
everyone is single if you try hard enough
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Randomize
