well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
Randomize
