Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
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