haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
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