it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Randomize