and you said cock pushups were impossible
You smell like stripper and shame
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
Randomize
