I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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