I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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