well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
