Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
Randomize
